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Don’t quit your day job…but then again

August 20, 2014

So I haven’t blogged for over 3 months.

THREE MONTHS PEOPLE!

I think of all the blog apology notes I’ve left to my lovely writinginatree fans, the longest I’ve gone was that one October I didn’t write for like 20 days or something. This is unheard of in Whitney-land. But it was true. I abandoned ship and it was mainly because of my job.

Without bad mouthing my day job too hard, it was sucking the life out of me. Sucking the creativity out of me. Sucking the writer out of me. It’s wild, but in my journal (upon many a journals) for the past few months I’ve been writing (not blogging) about how hard it is to write and work.  One promise I made to myself was that if I didn’t write at least 20 pages of a project I was working on in one month I’d quit my job. Which is NOTHING for someone who used to blog 3 times a week, write everyday in a journal plus spend minimum one hour writing on a project per day. The time had past. No 20 pages appeared. I did the deed. I quit.

 

Imagine she’s Black and has kinky shorter hair, and that’s me. oh yeah

 

Even as I wrote it, it wasn’t a signal for me to quit, it was a way for me to kick my own ass into writing again. To be honest, as I finished the sentence, I knew I’d fail. Based on patterns.

Writing isn’t an easy thing. It comes easily but keeping up the task of being a writer and making writing a life-long thing, is far from facile. So in a month’s time (a few days later actually) I quit. But not because I wasn’t writing. Sadly, writing was the last thing on my mind. I was stressed and under appreciated, unhappy and physically ill from work. Plus I was very sure I would be fired if I didn’t quit. With a bit of courage and a lot of common sense, I walked away.

There was so much shame around me not blogging. I felt like less of a writer. And yes, the blog is pretty amazing and yes I put hours upon hours into this blog but deeper than that, writinginatree represents that day when I was chillin with a friend, I was unemployed, depressed but serious about being a writer. Making up fake articles as practice, pre-writing posts in my notebook. Sharing my adventures online with my blog-family. I dipped, without notice for three months and although a lot happened, I don’t feel any of it is important to my craft.

Moving forward, I’m excited to renew this blog. It’s no coincidence I stopped writing after my blog-o-versary. Maybe I’m to take this blog in a new direction, where? I don’t know yet. But the past four years its been changing, I’ve been changing. It’s like a living journal recapping my events but I want it to be so much more than that.

I’d love to hear from you, any and all of you as to what you want to see. I’ll certainly meditate on how to proceed and maybe the change will be gradual, yeah I’ll still throw in the NERD MOMENTS and the PHOTOGRAPHIC JOURNALS but maybe I’ll feature new things, more written pieces, more personal pieces.

So excited to journey and journal with you all. It’s like I never left, but sort did. 

Read on friends, read on.

 

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Anonymous permalink
    August 20, 2014 3:17 pm

    Every time I’ve quit a job, I have had a really intense emotional and physical reaction to the act. Something about leaving just freaks the nards out of me. I admire that you had a boundary for what was too much from a job, recognized it had been crossed, and did something about it.

    • August 27, 2014 12:28 am

      Thanks for the comment and the perspective and insight. Fear is very much in control of my decision making process but when you’re well-being is on the line, fear can’t really hold you back anymore. You’re right, its very physical as well as emotion but its a space to move forward too.

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